My husband and I made the decision to get another dog. We chose to go to the Humane Society and adopt a dog. Wow, were we in for a surprise. Little did we know the dog we took into our home had been neglected and abused. Thirty-six hours into his time with us Rudy had worn out his welcome and I was a wreck.

We believe that Rudy was locked for hours and hours at a time in a crate, possibly left in his own urine and feces, so he was not happy with the idea of going into a crate at night and it took two of us to get him in his crate. Rudy would slam his body into our doors, and scratch them. He was even able to get our doors to open and it would take two of us to drag him back outside. When he wasn't slamming into our doors trying to break into the house, he was howling non-stop for no reason. He refused to eat, he didn't know how to fetch a ball, and he was so freaked out that his heart would race so fast that he couldn't hold still. I won't go into details as to what came from Rudy's body for the first couple of weeks while he detoxed from whatever had been put in his body.

My husband was out of town and I was on my own with Rudy. After lots of tears and phone calls to my husband who felt bad I was on my own with him, I started looking for a trainer. I found a trainer and he came to our home to evaluate Rudy and he ended up taking Rudy with him for 3 weeks.  I got to see Rudy and work with the Trainer a few times. Each time there was a positive change in Rudy.

When Rudy came back to live with us, we sent our other dog away to live with the trainer for one week, so he could learn some new things and to give Rudy a chance to learn the rules of his new home without any distractions.  The trainer told us that Rudy was like working with a crack addict. That doesn't leave you with the greatest feeling but we were determined as a family to make this work and we were seeing such great progress that we jumped right in.

That first night with Rudy back home was not an easy night. We couldn't get him to get into his crate and we thought he would be okay in our shed. Wrong, Rudy somehow was able to turn the doorknob, pull the door in and escape. Did you catch that? I said he pulled the door “IN” he didn’t push into it. Steve McQueen the great escape artist may be a better name for him.  We heard him outside howling at 2 am. We got out of bed, headed outside and tried to get him back in and calm. Rudy was a maniac and if I had to guess what a crack addict looked like I would say Rudy was not too far off. I watched my husband softly pet Rudy and very softly tell him, “It's okay, calm down, I am your daddy, Shh, daddy is here and you are okay.” I stood there and thought of how God often has to do that to his children.

Many of us have been mistreated and neglected in one way or another. We are often hurt and scared. Some of us have been molested, others beaten, or verbally abused. Some of us are so scared that we can hardly function in the day-to-day life that we must get through. We have been hurt in many painful ways and when we draw near to God he reaches out to us in the same way that I watched my husband calm our hurting dog. He longs to comfort us, to tell us I am here, I am your daddy, shh, and it’s okay. Daddy is here. I have got you. You’re going to be okay.

I remember how years before, in the middle of a deep pain in my life I found myself crying out to God as I dealt with some sexual abuse that I had experienced as a child. I cried out to God, I remember saying Abba father, daddy why did you let this happen to me?  I felt that deep love of God fill my heart and in my spirit I heard Him say, “It's okay, I am here, Daddy is here. Shh, let me take your pain.” I knew at that moment that every teardrop I had cried from that experience, my father in heaven cried one right along with me. I also knew at that moment, God did not want harm to come to me, He wanted what is good for me, and He wants that for all His children. We live in such a broken world and the enemy comes to kill and destroy but God never forsakes us.

As I was saying that years ago I felt God tell me he was there with me in my pain and I learned that day many years ago to pray to our father in heaven as “ABBA FATHER, DADDY”, it changed my life back then and it carried me through this last year as we clung to God in our pain. Lots of the time I start my prayers with Abba Father and Daddy as I pray. Just like my husband tried to calm and love our dog that night, God wants to do the same to us. He longs to love us, carry us in our pain and give us hope. I thank God for loving me the way he does. I will never be able to thank him enough for being right there with my daughter that night when such pain was brought to her and I hope you know how much He loves you also.

I leave you with this: If you are hurting God can handle it, let him be there for you, cry out to Him all your hurts and fears, tell him that you need Him and then rest in him, let Him speak to you gently in your heart and you'll hear Him. "Shh, it's okay, Daddy is here.”


Tricia said...

Thanks Kim that was a wonderful thought it hit home

t said...

Kim, I can't even begin to thank you for this post. I have not blamed God for any of my problems, I believe that you create your own problems based on the choices we make. I have however felt very abandoned lately. I have been going through a lot, more than just my marital problems. I have felt as though I had no one to turn to. Your writing has made me realize that God never abandoned me, I abandoned him and just embraced my pain instead of giving it up. Thank you for reminding me to open my heart to God and that I am never alone.

Life is short but God is sweet said...

T, I hope you do continue to open your heart to God. He wants to be with you to carry you through the hard times. I'll be praying for you your marriage. God is good, ALWAYS.